The Insidious, Everyday Presence of the Fear of Failure
We all deal with it at some level. Here are a few thoughts to help you face it head-on.
I talk to a lot of photographers. Every day brings new discussions on the direction of the industry, what is working, what isn’t working, and new ideas for finding and holding on to clients.
It is such a crazy situation sometimes. One long-time photographer’s consultant expressed some dismay while discussing marketing; “It’s hard to even find anyone in the office.”
And this is now four years after the great pandemic BS that shut us all down and created fear of human contact. Although we may be seeing a bit of a return.
We spend hours on shoots, days on editing, and months developing a portfolio. Then more work making it better.
Finally, on a bright sunny Monday, we think “Damn, I am so ready”, and we start making phone calls until after the 76th voicemail a real human being actually answers the phone — and we freeze.
The what-ifs began flooding our brains like a broken bag of Skittles falling under the torn leather seat of our once-blue 2004 Subaru.
We are now face to face with the fear… of screwing up, Effing up, blowing it, or committing a blunder of epic, and quite possibly existential proportions.
Fear of failure is maybe the sneakiest, most powerful kind of fear creative folks have to tackle. It’s insidious because it tends to stick around while quietly poking holes in your confidence, even over small stuff — like, seemingly tiny, everyday things.
We begin to get angry over even an attempt to face the fear head-on, or butt-on… hell, it doesn’t matter, we just aren’t gonna do it.
So we procrastinate.
Didja know that procrastination is simply fear? Fear of the unknown, fear of confrontation, fear of not being worthy enough to even be fearful.
We become so comfortable with the procrastination and the accompanying fear of facing it, that we become connected at the hip. And that makes it hard to move forward while killing any chance at all of winning a Salsa dance competition.
This type of clinging fear is kind of like a truly annoying force that sneaks in wearing soft shoes that don’t squeak, and begins shifting and shaping itself in different forms:
Self-Doubt: You know that little voice in your head? The one that sounds like that creepy sophomore literature teacher — the one that hated you for no apparent reason? Well, fear of failure feeds it, like gas on a campfire. It’s the power that makes you second-guess yourself, leading to hesitation and avoiding risks that could actually make things interesting. Imagine the things you missed because of irrational fears… sigh. I coulda, woulda, shoulda so many things. But I had to deal with…
Resistance: There’s this ugly thing called “resistance,” and it’s like an invisible wall, a big wall, a beautiful wall, so much beauty in that wall — and that big, seemingly invincible wall really wants everything to stay the f**king same. Fear of failure just makes this wall thicker, harder to break through, leaving you stuck in the stinky mud of procrastinating instead of reaching for big, exciting goals. Yuge goals, so many goals.
Perfectionism: The one and only, totally true BS fear of all. The fear of messing up, or just not being good enough. It often becomes this weird obsession with getting things perfect, just so, so… aargh, I messed it up.
Damn.
But the confounding catch is, that obsession can lead to not creating at all — getting stuck at “almost done,” or, in a way, avoiding sharing anything in the first place because, well, who wants to risk being judged, right?
Best darn way to not screw up is to never start. Never share. Never even think of buying those cool rattlesnake cowboy boots that you have been craving for the last five years… what if someone doesn’t like them? I mean, everyone else knows better than me, right?
Right?
Maybe this is the point where I point out that fear of failure usually doesn’t make a ton of sense — at all. You have to step away to see it clearly, but if you take a chance to look, you’ll see.
Most often it’s about needing to look good to other people rather than doing something because, frankly, you enjoy the act of doing it. And it is OK to do something just to see if you like doing it. It is also OK to show your work to someone who may not like it.
Usually, and I can only speak for my last 50+ years in the business, no one has been bludgeoned into unconsciousness by someone who doesn’t like someone’s portfolio of wine bottles. With grapes, and cool props, and stuff.
I suggest a little — or large — shift in perspective: focus more on appreciating the process of creating and deep-six worrying about impressing people who may or may not even get what you’re about. Even more important is not worrying about people who don’t even know who you are, what you do, or your favorite pet’s name.
I have a few ideas on how to keep this debilitating fear from getting in the way:
Reframe Your Thoughts: Take those negative thoughts and twist them around. Like, flip that “I can’t do this” to “I’ll give it a shot because why not?” Focus on what’s possible, not what could go wrong. When you feel yourself feeling that resistance, go ninja and kick its ass. Don’t let the tapes play, stop hearing voices. (Unless the voices are telling you to send large bundles of cash to me, ya know, those voices are pretty helpful.)
Embrace the Damn Process: Let’s face it, a lot of times expectations can make the whole thing feel like a test. We are looking for the right answer, the big payoff, the fat stack, instead of focusing on what needs to be done for a score that large.
Let go and get into the funkiest groove ever, the one where you just jam along making stuff because it feels right. The basic act of your creation itself is, well, the big win here. The motherlode, baby.
Get Some Feedback: And hey, sometimes you just need an outside perspective. Find people you trust — mentors, friends, peers — and ask them what they think.
Yeah, I know, that little bubble of fear pops up and we start to find ways to prove to ourselves that this may be the single most stupid idea ever conceived in this quadrant of the universe.
But it isn’t. It is a marker post on the way to getting that resistance, that fear of being less than, off of your shoulders with a one-way ticket to an ice flow. “Get the hell outta here, you insidious bastard,” you can whisper under your breath.
(Pro tip: do not let anyone actually hear you say that. I may or may not be speaking from experience.)
When you find others willing to help you, they are likely to see things you miss, and that can help you grow without the fear weighing you down. And be sure that they may also feel a bit of resistance toward helping you.
You, and I, are not the only ones to have to deal with this stuff, although it feels like that sometimes.
At the end of the day, fear is always going to make its presence known. It’s kinda part of the deal when you make art.
But, instead of letting it freeze you in place, it could be, you know, the little push you need.
Take some risks, embrace potential failures, accept the wins graciously, and let the fear drop from your shoulders to the wet, cold ground. In the rain.
Sorry.
What scares you most about showing your work to potential clients?
OK, so what are you gonna do about it?
Hi, I’m Don Giannatti, a photographer and mentor for up-and-coming photographers. You can find me on my website, Don Giannatti, and at my Substack site, where I also publish for creative people.
I run a mentorship group for up-and-coming photographers. We discuss everything from portfolio work to bidding to dealing with the pressures of this crazy business we all love. If you want to hit the ground running in 2025, find and keep clients, and finally start to see your hard work pay off, take a moment to read about the program. One fee, lifetime access. I currently have three openings.
